The 5 Best Characters in The Office, Don’t Argue

No, no one in this picture.

No, no one in this picture.

I do this thing—it’s a thing I wouldn’t necessarily mark as brave or important, but it is amazing and groundbreaking. Every time I’m done with The Office, I just… Restart it. I have seen The Office so many times, so I would like to name myself a scholar of the hit NBC comedy that ran from 2005 until 2013. Therefore, the ranking in this list is not a matter of opinion. It is a fact. 

These are the top 5 best characters in The Office:


Kelly Kapoor

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Kelly started as a side character who was pointed to whenever they wanted to make a joke about Michael being ignorant, but then The Office got smarter and realized, damn, that Mindy Kaling knows how to make a bitch chuckle. 

Kelly is both sympathetic and aggravating as Ryan Howard's long-time sort-of girlfriend, but I think she truly shines best when she's taking the role of office mean girl. From changing Jim and Dwight's customer survey scores because they did not attend her America's Got Talent wrap party to asking Andy's new girlfriend if she farted, Kelly Kapoor lays a foundation of petty that's inspiring.

 

Darryl Philbin

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One of my favorite Darryl moments occurs when Nick (is that his name?) the IT guy outs everyone about their personal computer usage. He turns to Daryl and says, "Darryl, you're on Facebook! Why do you tell people you're not on Facebook? People want to be your friend." Ugh, imagine being so cool you tell your coworkers you don't have Facebook when you really do.

Darryl has the best one liners, but I'm not going to even try, because I can never be as cool as him!!! Briefly, Kelly and Darryl dated, which obviously AROUSED ME. I don't know, I think Darryl is half on this list because he's really funny, and half because I want to fuck him.

 

Jo Bennett

Speaking of people I want to fuck. 

Jo's time in The Office is brief, but she left such an impression on me. There's something about an older woman with two, gigantic dogs on leashes, walking around and demanding things of people. Lord, yes.

Although in the end she is talked out of her own job by Robert California (a good character, but not Jo Bennett good), Jo manages to be the driving force behind Holly and Michael getting back together. 

Also, she is Kathy Bates. I mean? You get it, right? Don't you lowkey want her to yell at you?

 

Gabe Lewis

Gabe is--in a word--abhorrent. He's lanky and pale and has a mild sexual predator vibe going on. This is heightened because he films short movies as part of the Cinema of the Unsettling that include random images of Barbies in microwaves and creep shots of his coworkers. Ah! It's almost as if the director knew that even narrative was comforting!

Gabe is self-serving and obsessed with Erin, but that queen makes me forget about it all when he dresses up as Gaga for Halloween

 

David Wallace

He's boring and so hot. I couldn't even find a GIF of him. Daddy.

 

BONUS: This Is the Worst Character

Deangelo Vickers

Is Will Ferrel funny? I think The Landlord is one of the funniest things that's happened in, oh, the past 1000 years. But I can't really get into anything else he's been in, you know? 

Deangelo Vickers is... dry. Deangelo Vickers is like swallowing a pill with no water and having the dust cling to your cheeks. He used to be fat, so he has self confidence issues, much like most sitcom characters and barely anyone in real life. He does a juggling routine with no balls that goes on for so long, too long. He's sexist. He goes into a coma when he tries to dunk.

Wow, uh, what else... I don't know, who cares! Deangelo sucks!!

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