Cottage Cheese is Happening Now

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Trend alert: The word on everyone’s lips is “cottage cheese.” Here are some answers to questions you might have about cottage cheese as we shift to our new It Food.

How will we be encountering cottage cheese in the near future?

You’ll be seeing this on brunch menus at places with 45-minute lines. The menus will say something like “House-made large-curd cottage cheese with rosemary salt and a slice of pan-seared, locally sourced grapefruit.” It will cost $7. I will order it.

What is cottage cheese?

Wikipedia says “Cottage cheese is a fresh cheese curd product with a mild flavor.” Cool.

How do you eat cottage cheese?

With a spoon, mostly. I’ve been stirring in a spoonful of raspberry jam. I guess you could do other jams. Or salt and pepper. Celery, maybe? I think celery is sick nasty so that’s your business. This is an unpopular opinion but I love cottage cheese in a low-budget lasagna and I will absolutely fight you on this. There are more ways to eat cottage cheese, too. Have fun with it! 

What does cottage cheese taste like?

Cottage cheese tastes like something you should not eat. Its sour runniness is the sort of flavor/texture combo that makes the human body say “REJECT.” It's great and I am here for it.

Is cottage cheese good for you? says that cottage cheese has a lot of calcium, which is thumbs up, but also a lot of sodium, which is thumbs down? Whatever!!!!

Did Hale say she can’t edit this post because the idea of cottage cheese makes her gag?


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Megan KirbyComment