It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

For my daughter’s first birthday, my brother-in-law bought her all of the plush versions of the characters from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. (Except O the Owl, who I had already purchased. He is very cute.) On the scale of things Toby likes from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, Daniel Tiger is probably, like, a 2 or 3. That being said, it is the only TV show that will catch her attention for more than five seconds. So, you know. It’s her favorite.

I brought Daniel into Toby’s life when she was about six months old. There are only two seasons of his show on Amazon Prime. Although Toby’s once-goldfish-like memory couldn’t hold onto the jingles that she heard again and again from seasons one and two, I started feeling like I was going insane, so I bought one. And another one.

And then things started to add up, and I realized… Something is going on in the neighborhood.

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Let us start with the most obvious: Daniel and his father do not wear pants, but his mother, Colette, wears an atrocious v neck and clam diggers. When Baby Margaret is born, she is made to wear a onesie and then a dress. Did the show’s creator ever pitch Colette in a v neck with no pants? Is ofTiger’s naked lower half too much for you, you misogynist pigs??

Although almost all of the other characters wear full outfits, there is an exception: O the Owl (the cute one, remember?) wears ONLY SHOES. And his Uncle X? SHOES AND BOWTIE.

Let us examine Uncle X further: he is, without a doubt, a fucking nerd. He lives in a treehouse with his nephew, and O’s father and mother are⁠—to my knowledge⁠—never mentioned. Also living in said treehouse are Henrietta Pussycat and her daughter, Katerina Kittycat.

I know what you’re thinking, and the answer, I believe, is yes: Katernia’s middle name is Kitty, and Henrietta’s middle name is Pussy. I’m like 95% sure.

So, what are a single mom and uncle-made-guardian doing living in a treehouse together with their respective wards? I scoured the Wiki, looking for clues on their relationship and came up empty. It’s almost like… It’s been scrubbed clean. As if they knew I might check the Wiki.

The best guess I can come up with is that Henrietta was living an unhappy life with her husband, Mr. Cat, who she left for Uncle X. I kind of always thought that maybe Uncle X was involved in O’s parents’ death for some reason related to the affair, but now that I’m typing that, I guess that doesn’t really make sense?

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While on the Wiki, I also found more disturbing things: In Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, it was prophesied by a witch that Colette would marry Daniel Striped Tiger, Daniel’s father. A fucking witch?? There are no witches in Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Additionally, I learned from the comments section that people ship the characters in the show who are five. 

Twenty days ago, Jon wrote:

I wonder if Miss Elaina has a crush on Daniel Tiger as potentially Daniel Tiger Girlfriend with strategy song including telling Miss Elaina that Daniel was in Miss Elaina heart the entire time including Daniel Tiger and Miss Elaina hugging each other and when Daniel Tiger and Miss Elaina holding each other hands. I hope that they will make an episode of Daniel Tiger telling Miss Elaina that he is in his heart all the time make Miss Elaina say "Awwwww. Daniel that is very nice of you." I hope that Daniel tell Miss Elaina that he has a crush on her because I think that Miss Elaina is very special friend to Daniel and if this true with strategy song call You are special.

Similarly, Ruby Red Rose writes:

I realize that the show is for little kids and focuses on preschool children; but I just can't help but ship  both Daniel and Katerina together, she may not be a tiger like him but they are both in the cat family so it's good enough for me.

Not mention I've seen 3 episodes where the two of them are playing "Family"; Katerina would choose to play the "mommy" and Daniel would choose to play the "daddy", so it's like the show it's self is putting them together.

I hadn’t considered that maybe Miss Elaina was using a strategy song or the possibility of inter-species breeding, but that’s why I’m grateful for Wikis. This is how great minds come together!!

I will end this entry not on another theory, but on a story of hope: Katerina is Toby’s favorite of the toys, which is cute because I also love cats but hard because she is white. One time, Toby ate a red popsicle and then sucked on Katerina’s ear, and last week, while I was changing Toby’s diaper, she tossed Katerina into her poop diaper like a basketball prodigy. Needless to say, Katerina had to be washed. Great news: she came out clean! That’s it.

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