Baby, Do You Recognize Me: An Outfit Guide
Need the perfect outfit for going to a ski lodge with your friends, your old lover, your new lover, and the crushing weight of Christmases past? We've got you covered!
Open-Front Textured Cardi for Women from Old Navy
Getting chilly as you drape tinsel over the Christmas tree and lock eyes with your last-year lover, now heartbroken by your betrayal? This Open-Front Textured Cardi for Women will help you dodge the guilt of the holidays. Where’s the eggnog, am I right???
Frost Free Quilted Jacket for Women in Red Spice from Old Navy
Do you like to stand out from your crowd of friends’ neutral-colored ski wear? Pair the Frost Free Quilted Jacket with a bold red lip and get ready to stare into the eyes of the man you destroyed last Christmas. Performance Fleece lining means you’ll stay warm even when your heart is ice cold.
Fair Isle Dolman-Sleeve for Baby from Old Navy
Need a festive holiday sweater for playing in the snow with your new love as your old love watches broodingly from a fence post? We’ve got the perfect match! The Fairisle Sweater’s pattern will be the envy of every holiday party you attend. It’s for babies, so you’re going to have to shrink down.
“Wow, you look like you’ve spent the holiday season breaking hearts!” your friends will say. “Also, how did you get so small?” Just smile and wink.
Beaded Crystal-Flower Necklace for Women from Old Navy
Are you looking for the perfect physical metaphor for giving someone’s heart away? Brooches are so last year! What about a huge, heavy necklace to represent the weight on your own guilt? Also makes the perfect gift for someone special.
Mountain Parka for Men in Black from Old Navy
We didn’t forget you, fellas! Are you tortured with the mistakes of holidays past? Has your heart shattered like an icicle against concrete? Do you like to stand 20 feet away from your friends’ snowball fight and just stare with the intensity of the winter sun gleaming cold on a frigid mountaintop? Pull up the hood of the Mountain Parka and get to work on your brooding glare. (NOTE: The Mountain Parka in black is sold out, so you’re going to have to go with Koi, which is just a weird name for orange. It’s fine.)